The Many Hats of Karen
We all wear many hats in life. My professional hat is overseeing the production team for a business-to-business medical news website (our primary audience is healthcare professionals). The month of May is one of the business times of the year for us. It feels like every medical association under the sun is presenting scientific sessions. And while I am blessed to be recognized for my work, to work in this field since I've graduated college, to be rewarded with overseeing my own team, I don't feel particularly blessed right now.
I just feel overwhelmed.
This past year I decided to add another hat to my already large collection: yoga teacher. And as work is busy, my son plays baseball, my husband coaches him, Mother's Day looms, I am finding my head is not big enough for all of these hats. And I experience guilt and regret when I have to remove one from my head to make room for something else. And now, a week from Saturday, I will be taking a test to complete my teacher training.
And I just feel overwhelmed.
It's been a LONG time since I've taken a test -- 17 years to be exact. To say I am out of practice is a bit of an understatement. Throughout my academic career I always worried about the first test. But there were more and as I got to know the teacher I knew what to expect on the test. I don't feel that way now, though. Yes, we had a big review session and I have been writing up note cards until my hand cramps, but still, I feel totally in the dark and unprepared. And despite assurances from my instructors and my husband, I just can't seem to shake this feeling.
It's weighing me down.
I am too into my head.
And so, as I enter this last week of studying, I realize I need to take a step back, breathe, and recognize that all I can I do is my best. The rest is out of my control.
Do they make a hat for that?