I led my first guided meditation last night. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I have guided short meditations here and there, but a whole class?? For an hour?? What had I agreed to?? Part of me was even secretly (now not-so-secretly) hoping no one would come. (I am still learning to be brave, take risks, and sit in my own discomfort.)
But sometimes the universe knows better than we do, and when I arrived at the studio there was already a car in the parking lot. No turning back now.
It was the night before the winter solstice and the theme I had chosen was self-acceptance. In a show of good faith, after the first meditation I confided that this was my first time leading others in such a class. It was a beautiful and humbling moment. It was also a moment of release, because I was no longer carrying the expectation that they class, the meditation, had to be perfect.
When class had ended I felt this thing in my chest. My heart was not just beating, but expanding with love and gratitude for those who came. Together we experienced something much more intimate than an asana class. We created a safe space for each other, a space we could be vulnerable in, a space of trust, a sanctuary.
I am honored to have had this opportunity. I am a better teacher and woman for it.